Attract success: how self-presentation helps in life

Finding a job and properly building personal communication can help the correct self-presentation. Experts told RBC Trends how to create the best impression of yourself

The term "self-presentation" in modern Russian means a person's presentation of himself in order to create the desired impression among others. Experts divides self-presentation into professional and personal. The first is used in a work or study environment, the second is used in building love and friendship relationships. You can effectively present yourself with the help of a short oral or written story, as well as by “posting” content to social networks and professional communities.

Self-presentation at the interview

Presenting yourself well when looking for a new job is an art. A beautiful self-presentation opens many doors. In order to present yourself favorably, you need to demonstrate your strengths and level your weaknesses. Then the person will get the desired position.

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At the first contact, the impression is formed in 3-5 seconds , notes the Russian psychologist and psychoanalyst Lyudmila Polyanova. Therefore, it is equally wrong to stealthily enter the negotiation room, and burst in, loudly opening the door. The employer should have the feeling that he is facing an adequate, polite, but self-confident person.

After a greeting, a story about oneself usually begins. Here, Lyudmila Polyanova recommends adhering to the rule "brevity is the sister of talent." An ideal self-presentation takes no more than one to one and a half minutes. If a person speaks longer, it causes rejection. The expert recalls the Elevator pitch rule: while the elevator rises to the floor (usually no more than 30-40 seconds), you need to interest the interlocutor so much that he wants to continue the conversation. The same principle applies to interviews.

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It is also important to evaluate yourself very well , says coach and business coach Nikolai Grigoriev. It will not be superfluous to ask friends, relatives, colleagues about your strengths and weaknesses. After that, the coach recommends that you write the text of your self-presentation in advance. Emphasize the pros and offset the cons. For example, not "lazy", but "who knows how to maintain a balance between work and leisure."

At the beginning, the message may turn out to be too long and clumsy. This is fine. After the first drafts, the text should be shortened: Nikolai Grigoriev recommends that it contain no more than 120-150 words. Then it can be voiced at the interview.

In self-presentation, it is worth emphasizing the skills and abilities that are important for the position for which the person is applying. For example, deep knowledge in cooking is not needed for a chief accountant, but knowledge of special programs is welcome.

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The main thing in the conversation is to explain what value you can bring to the company. For example, increase sales or customer flow. It is desirable to give an example of successfully solving similar problems at a previous place of work. It is important not to “go too far”: you definitely shouldn’t praise yourself too much.

“Behave with dignity and moderately modestly, do not“ bombard ”with your knowledge and qualities. Avoid phrases: “you have to pay me so much”, “you are obliged to provide me with VHI”. If a specialist is good and knows how to present himself, then it is already obvious that he will not sell himself for three kopecks, ”Polyanova notes.

Ekaterina Zavyalova, an expert in building an international career, summarizes the basic rules for preparing for a conversation that can interest interlocutors:

Analyze your experience, professional skills and qualities. Think about global trends and current events in the country and the world that have influenced your field in one way or another in recent years. Integrate them into a future story about yourself or your project. Before presenting yourself, it is worthwhile to study the audience to which your story will be addressed. If possible, specify who will conduct the interview. Prepare an outline for the presentation. Consider your appearance. Schedule your time, don't be late.

But a specialist needs to present himself not only at an interview, but also on the Web. Even if a person is an excellent professional, if he does not show himself in any way in communicative spaces, no one will ever know about it. Nikolai Grigoriev recommends working on a "personal brand". Social networks, professional communities are suitable for this.

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“An interesting post on a marketing forum can be read by the DIRECTOR of a large company and even enter into a discussion. His name will be well known, it will come in handy when looking for a job,” Nikolai Grigoriev noted.

Any career is not “strewn with roses,” the specialist continues. In the biography of any person there are controversial points - dismissals not of their own free will, frequent job changes, large fines. It makes no sense to hide and hush it up. Grigoriev advises to take a different path - admit your mistake and tell what conclusion you have drawn from the situation.

“Adequate employer will be able to understand the employee and give him a chance to prove himself in the company,” sums up the specialist.

Common Interview Mistakes Wear a new suit or dress. Unusual clothes can be uncomfortable - cause itching, wrinkling, overly tight. This will affect behavior and self-awareness. For the interview, it is better to wear familiar, comfortable clothes. Talk about hobbies that are not related to the occupation. An “inveterate hunter and fisherman” will constantly ask for time off from work and carve out free hours for his hobby - this is how most employers think. The other extreme is to claim that you "live for work", and the most important thing for you is to do it well. Employers love perfectionists, but, as a rule, they are the last to raise their salaries. Why, because the work will be done qualitatively in any case. It is important for the applicant to convey to the future boss that he is ready to show results if there are career prospects. Self-presentation in person

Meeting a soul mate and making friends is easier for people with good self-presentation skills. And, conversely, if a person does not know how to communicate, he is unlikely to be perceived adequately by others.

Think back to your first date. Most likely, it was filled with awkwardness, and at some points you both felt uncomfortable. You went to a meeting with fear, and your anxiety was transferred to another person. The ability to impress is an important and powerful tool. Its use can lead to both favor and rejection of other people.

Humor, sincerity and adequacy are the three pillars on which personal self-presentation rests, clinical psychologist and sexologist Valentin Denisov-Melnikov is sure.

Everyone is attracted to easy-to-communicate interlocutors with whom it is not necessary to choose words. At the very beginning, it is important to win over the interlocutor. Often, already at the first meeting, some begin to show off - high incomes, real estate, position in society, "fill their own worth." Such a "self-presentation" is more likely to scare away. According to the psychologist, it is better to talk less about yourself and ask more questions to the interlocutor. People like people who are interested in their lives. Unlike professional self-presentation, personal modesty will be more appropriate.

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Boasting and excessive self-confidence do not paint either a man or a woman. When a challenge and competition are felt in every word, it is unlikely that they will want to continue the dialogue with you, the expert is sure. You should not say the phrase: “I have gone through so much in my life, you never dreamed of”, “I always turn out to be right”.

“Friendly or loving relationships with competition cannot be effective. In loved ones, people are looking for support and support, but not confrontation, ”Denisov-Melnikov reports.

One of the main mistakes in communication is the presentation of oneself as an initially uninterested, inaccessible person. The phrases “get it first”, “it’s not up to you now”, “I’ll try to make time, but I don’t promise” are good only if you want to get rid of the interlocutor.

The main mistakes when meeting and communicating Template, banal phrases. They only cause resentment. The conversation can be started in a non-standard way to immediately interest the interlocutor. Approach a person from behind, touch him, get too close. Psychologists advise staying no closer than half a meter from a stranger. Get acquainted when other people are present next to the object of attention. In a company, a person may show himself differently than he shows in personal communication. In addition, a group of people may have a conversation on a certain topic or have certain plans for the evening. By interrupting them, you will show your tactlessness.

Behaving naturally and sincerely is the key to success at the first meeting and subsequent communication. It is important not to pretend to be a person that you are not. Even if mutual sympathy does not happen, it is good that people will understand this at the beginning of communication. Spending a lot of time on each other, and then realizing that the person is “not the right one” is a dubious undertaking.

Trainer, author of the course at MITRO, international expert Olga Merts suggests following five main tips for developing self-presentation:

Learn to listen and see yourself from the outside. Work with your body (posture, gestures, understanding your actions). Follow the conversation and respond to the listener's reaction. During a conversation or other interaction in a group, do not leave anyone without visual attention. Be aware of the place, the situation, the audience. To exaggerate, it's better not to tell a story about how you went hunting at a meeting of vegetarians.