"The Judge Announced the Term, and It Was Like I Died." Two Stories About What Drugs Lead To

Topic news In the eyes of most of those serving their sentences in penal colony #22 - melancholy. On average, they are about thirty years old, the term assigned by the COURT is ten. These years will pass in a place that is popularly called "wolf holes". Historians say that it is named after the village that was burned here during the Great Patriotic War. The convicts have their own explanation: "Because the understanding of what we have done makes us want to howl.
" Story one. "All my friends have abandoned me" Dmitry has been living in anticipation of August for almost six months now. This month, his younger brother is getting married and the whole family will go to Moscow to congratulate him. Everyone, except Dima. Of course, his parents will tell him about the wedding in detail and show him hundreds of photos of the happy newlyweds when they come to visit him in the Ivatsevichi district - for a long-awaited visit to penal colony #22. Like last time, Dima will wear civilian clothes instead of the dark blue prison uniform. Helping his mother cook his favorite cutlets, he will ask her and his dad for a long, long time about what is happening outside. Where he has not been for three years and will not be for another six years.

- My parents and I have not seen each other since 2024. I am entitled to three short visits a year - three to four hours each, and two long ones - a whole day, and if I'm lucky, two or three. It depends on my behavior. I try to make sure that this time we spend several days together. Although, of course, they will still not be enough for us - time flies by unnoticed in conversations. I am interested in everything! - the 38-year-old convict assures. - Mom retired this year, I want to know how she is. I'm worried about Dad's HEALTH : he's had several cancer surgeries. I want to see photos from my brother's wedding: I know they took a long time to prepare for it. He moved to Moscow to be with his fiancée after I was detained by the riot police, he was very worried. And for my parents, it was a complete shock.

Dmitry clarifies: his parents knew about his drug addiction. But they had no idea that their son had tried marijuana for the first time back in school. And he couldn't quit, although he tried several times.

- I started using it because I really wanted to get into the company of my elders, and they smoked drugs there. In those years, marijuana was fashionable among young people, many tried it. Anything forbidden was fashionable then, - the convict believes.
h3, centered "I became nervous, secretive, and started coming home late."
He recalls: the first time he didn't like marijuana at all. He felt sick, his HEAD was spinning, he didn't understand where he was or who was around him. Panic was taking over. There was no talk of any buzz that the elders in the company had promised. But after a couple of days, when Dima finally came to his senses and one of the guys offered to smoke again, he agreed. The desire to be part of a "cool" company turned out to be stronger than the instinct of self-preservation.

- Over time, the parentsbegan to notice that something was wrong with me. I became nervous, secretive, started coming home late, - says Dmitry. - When they tried to talk, I lied: like, one problem in life, then another - I'm just nervous! And they believed me, because they wanted to believe me. But I wasn't going to stop, because I liked myself "stoned". Confidence appeared, it was easier to communicate with people. It seemed to me that everyone liked me. But from the outside, of course, I didn't look so great: slurred speech, perpetually red eyes and very strange behavior of a person sure that he was constantly being watched.
Life in the colony: bunk beds and one nightstand for two

What started "for the company" gradually developed into an addiction . Dima began to smoke marijuana every day. He stopped only when he was forced to - when he did not have money for a dose.

- On such days, I woke up thinking about how to get drugs. After all, I did not work, - the man recalls. - I only had enough money for part-time jobs - at a construction site, in a food store, transporting goods across the border. I did everything! The main thing was that they paid me right away. But I often didn’t have enough for drugs, so I started borrowing. I tried to pay it back, but...

Even then, Dima lost some friends who were tired of listening to promises that he would definitely return all the money in a little while . The rest stopped communicating with him after the trial.

- During all this time, there was not a single letter from them. Only my relatives did not abandon me, - the convict shares.

In 2018, he was closer than ever to starting a normal life. The one his mother and father asked him to. He got a job at a company, trained to be a forklift driver. After some time, he even became a production manager.

- And then the pandemic began. The borders were closed, the supply of materials stopped, the company closed. I broke down: I started smoking marijuana to calm down. I did not dare tell my parents that I was left without a job. They would have been upset, - explains Dmitry.

A couple of months later, it turned out that the rent payment date was approaching, and the savings were running out. By that time, he had already spent the money he had saved for a car. There were no responses to his resume, in which Dmitry listed all his advantages - a driver's license, a professional education in the specialty of "carpenter" and work experience.

- And then a message came in the messenger: they offer to make big money easily, - recalls the convict. - Naturally, I took the bait. Correspondence began. In one of them, they asked how I felt about drugs. When I admitted that I used drugs, they offered to become a stasher.

Dmitry emphasizes that he did not agree right away, although at that time he desperately needed money. It was very scary to get involved with drug dealers.

- They are good at psychological manipulation, - says the young man. - As soon as they realized that I was wavering, they started writing: don't be afraid, we will teach you how to hide, you are not risking anything, you will not be imprisoned. And at the very beginning, and later, they instilled in me that stashers help people - the same as they are, drug addicts. In the mornings, I even periodically received messages like "thank you from the same as you: you are saving them from killing anyone, from robbing, but calmly getting their fix."

Dmitry made his final decision after he found out that stashers get constant access to the product.
In Penal Colony No. 22, convicts are offered to get a higher education or a working specialty.

Now he has seen the light: the conditions of "cooperation" were dubious from the very beginning. For example, to get money, you had to make at least 50 stashes.

- They explained it like this: if I want to take the product for myself or the client does not find it for some reason, then the drug shop will keep the earnings as a fine. And when I was already approaching fifty stashes, the minimum suddenly grew to a hundred. Until the very end, I still didn’t understand how much I had earned. Specific amounts were not mentioned. They were spoken about vaguely: like, it’s a lot of money. But in fact, I did everything for a dose of drugs, - says the inhabitant of the “wolf holes”.
“I hope my fate will make someone think, rethink their behavior.” Almost two months passed. Dmitry lived on the rest of his savings and his parents’ money.

- My father and mother already understood everything then, they asked: son, quit. But I didn’t see a problem in this, and only in the penal colony, having learned the stories of other convicts, I realized that I was wrong. Because of drugs, families were destroyed, astronomical debts appeared, people became almost disabled. I myself cannot boast of my health now: at 38 years old, I have bronchial asthma and a bunch of other diseases, - the young man says sadly.

He assures that the whole time he was a stasher, he felt guilty and thought about how to put an end to his relationship with drug dealers. At some point, he simply stopped responding to them in messengers.

- I hoped that they would leave me alone. But they started intimidating me: they promised to turn me in to the police, they threatened me. It was scary - they claimed that they knew where I lived. And I continued making stashes. There were already twenty of them a week, - says Dmitry.

During another foray, he was detained.

This was on July 13, 2022.

- They contacted me from the drug shop and said that for the first time they trusted me to pick up a large batch. They promised: this would be the last trip. When I laid out the caches, they would pay me and leave me alone. They sent me the coordinates of where they hid the goods - in a forest belt not far from Brest. I remember how at night in the rain I could not find the right place for a long time. And when I approached it, I saw people running in my direction. At first I thought that they were "sportsmen" hired by drug dealers, and now they would beat me up, - the former cache holder tells his story in detail.

But the cache site was surrounded by riot police. Dmitry says that at that moment he even calmed down. The first thought was "finally it's all over", and the second - "the police will sort out the situation, they won't give more than two or three years."

- But I was wrong. The minimum for my article is 10 years, which is what I got. The judge announced the term, and it was as if I died, - Dmitry bitterly admits.
The church on the territory of the penal colony was consecrated in 2015

Like all new arrivals to Penal Colony No. 22, he spent the first two weeks in quarantine. This makes it easier to adapt to new conditions and get used to the routine. Then he ended up in a detachment, where a bunk bed and one nightstand for two were waiting for him. A special pleasure after a two-week quarantine, where only a walk around a small courtyard is provided, is the opportunity to spend free time on a large sports ground. There are basketball and volleyball courts, a football field, a workout zone. After working in the library, where he cleans, sorts and puts away newspapers and magazines, Dmitry can most often be found here - near the exercise machines in the open air.

- I decided to get myself in order. At liberty, I weighed 140 kilograms and could not, or perhaps did not want to fight excess weight. In the colony, I lost weight to 85, and I plan to keep going, - the convict proudly declares. - The guys who also do sports help me with my workouts. There are many former drug dealers here, and knowing their stories, I can say: we are expendable material for drug shops. They don’t keep us for more than six months: they “dump” us on the police so as not to pay.

Dmitry continues to struggle not only with excess weight, but also with drug addiction. And the latter is more difficult…

- The first two months were withdrawal symptoms. My arms were twisted, I hardly slept. And when I fell asleep, I saw myself using drugs… I couldn’t eat, but I smoked two or three packs of cigarettes a day, - the former drug dealer says. - Now I hardly think about drugs. I realized that I could live without them before, but I didn’t really try. I was stupid not to listen to my parents - I didn’t seek help from specialists. And then there would be no drug shop or penal colony. Maybe I would have started my own family: I was dating a girl, the relationship was heading towards marriage. But after the trial I ended it, although she was going to wait for me. I don't want to ruin someone's life. I've already tormented my family, why her?..

My interlocutor assures that he still feels guilty about many people and would give everything for the opportunity to correct the past. But history does not tolerate the subjunctive mood.

“All I can do now is tell how it really was. I hope that my fate will make someone think, rethink their behavior and understand that such mistakes come at too high a price,” Dmitry sighs. “Because of drugs, I ruined not only my own life, but also that of my family. This cross is now with me forever.”
The second story. “I led a double life for eight years” Another inhabitant of the “wolf holes” - Alexey - is also very much looking forward to August. He will celebrate his 32nd birthday within the walls of the colony, as well as his eight previous birthdays. He expects gifts only from his parents - no one else. Like Dmitry, Alexey’s friends crossed him out of their lives immediately after the trial.

“At 24, when I was convicted, my life was divided into before and after,” he says.

In fact, this happened much earlier. Back at the age of 16, when Alexey tried drugs for the first time.

- I had a completely ordinary family, a full-fledged one. My childhood was also normal, - the inhabitant of the "wolf holes" says without going into details.

Why he begins his story about himself in this way will become clear a little later. Over the long years in the colony, Alexey was interested in many things. Recently, psychology has been his favorite, and in many of its areas it is claimed that all problems come from childhood. By the way, how normal Alexey's childhood was is debatable.

- When I was little, my parents and I still went somewhere. To the sea, for example. And then they were always busy at work: dad - at the plant, mom - in trade. As a teenager, I was mostly left to my own devices, - says Alexey. - Heart-to-heart talks are not customary at home, so my parents had no idea that I started using spice back in school.
In the penal colony, Alexey reconsidered his life and now regrets a lot.

Alexey calls the fact that drugs fell into his hands a matter of chance. A classmate, who was also a neighbor in the building, suggested trying it. Since then, they used it together.

- I had no idea then how it affected the body and psyche. Besides, it was easy to get hold of spice, - the guy says.

If there were few fans of smoking mixtures at school, then at college a whole group formed.

- Someone in the group simply asked if there were any users of spice. It turned out there were about ten people, including me, - says Alexey. - It was fun: constant parties, get-togethers. None of us took this drug seriously, did not consider it something forbidden.

After the "non-serious" spice, which eventually became a real threat to health and the guy stopped using it, there were other drugs, more "natural", in Alexey's opinion. Gradually, his social circle narrowed to people like himself. And these people always know where to get a dose of anything.

- For eight years, I led a double life, - says the convict. - In one, I was an ordinary guy, and in the other, a drug addict. Those with whom I communicated in the first life had no idea about the existence of the second.

After graduating from college, I worked in a steel foundry for two years. I quit. For a whole year, I got by with odd jobs: I drove a taxi, delivered sushi.

- Then I got a job in a pizzeria. There I turned pizzas for twelve hours, - says Alexey. - The turning point was when I saw the owner of the establishment - an ordinary guy. I thought: why am I worse? I decided to open my own business . I sold my car, bought a minibus, rented a small space for a shop. At 21, he could afford a lot: branded clothes, entertainment, travel. And drugs, of course. I remember that with my first profit I bought a lot at once, and not a single dose, like before.
"I'd knock on the door of our apartment: "Mom-Dad, I'm back!" Then he used every day. And although getting drugs was not a problem, Alexey did not refuse the opportunity to have constant access to them when a friend of his offered to become his assistant.

- I took this man to the right places, photographed the caches, participated in correspondence. I was not paid anything, - the convict insistently emphasizes. He formulates his financial relations with the cache as follows: he periodically helped financially.
Shortly before ending up in the colony, Alexey thoroughly took care of himself.

- As they say, to be a drug addict, you need to be in good health, - Alexey smiles sadly. - Until the age of 22, I was somehow shapeless, weighed 104 kilograms. Every day friedpotatoes , mayonnaise , soda. He took up running and sometimes went to the gym.

One day in January 2018, when Alexey was helping to distribute drugs, he and his partner were detained.

- My parents were in shock. Until the very end, they didn’t know that I was using drugs, much less that I was distributing drugs. But I’m sure that my mom and dad have forgiven me. They come here and don’t abandon their son, - the young man says. - Now I feel their support more than ever, we’ve become closer in recent years. What

Alexey regrets most is not that he ruined his business, lost his friends, and practically lost a decade, but that he wasn’t with his family in the most difficult moments.

- My parents were very ill during the CORONAVIRUS pandemic, and my only brother couldn’t pull through. Five years have passed… I wasn’t present at the funeral, I wasn’t with my parents, and I can’t forgive myself for that, - Alexey says quietly.

He is confident that he will quickly adapt to life on the outside. And although he is not used to planning ahead, he already has a couple of items on the list of what he will do immediately after his release. He will definitely get enough sleep and arrange a medical check-up. But first of all, he will take a walk around his native MINSK. Definitely on foot, for several hours.

- I want to see how the city has changed over the years. I think some places will even be hard to recognize. And then I will knock on the door of our apartment: "Mom and Dad, I'm back!" And this will be one of the happiest moments for all of us, - Alexey has no doubt. - I will do everything to atone for my guilt before my parents, I regret everything so much...
There is even an amateur theater in the colony
Instead of an afterword. "Almost everyone repents. I believe that they are sincere" Treatment in Penal Colony No. 22 for people like Dmitry and Alexey is compulsory, but convicts come to the head of the psychoneurological office of the medical unit Irina Krugley not only for medicine. They confide in her things they don't want to tell anyone else - it's too painful, too shameful.

- Very difficult stories about how they grew up emerge. Addiction to psychoactive substances - ALCOHOL, drugs - is often a consequence of being raised in dysfunctional families. Some have seen their parents constantly drunk, treated badly, almost from birth, others were humiliated, beaten, mocked. I know a case where a five-year-old child was made a drinking buddy. It seems, what does this have to do withalcohol , if we are talking about drug addicts? The fact is that addictions correlate with each other: one can easily turn into another, - says Irina Evgenievna. - Often, former drug addicts choose a more or less socially acceptable type of addiction - alcohol. After all, at least for its use, purchase, sale, there is no threat of a prison term. Or cigarettes: even the most motivated to get rid of drug addiction, begin to smoke a lot.
"Relatives should be prepared for the fact that the addict can break down at any moment." It is impossible to cure an addict - only to help him go into remission. Including a very long one - until the end of life. But relatives should be prepared for the fact that the addict can break down at any moment.

For such people, staying free from drugs means winning the fight with themselves every day. But for this, you need to radically change your life.

- The most painful stage is the first, during which you need to survive the withdrawal syndrome on a physical level. For example, face withdrawal, insomnia. But for many, the second stage is more difficult, where you need to fill the void in your life - to occupy the time that was previously allocated to drug use. And this is a big problem, - says Irina Krugley.

Dmitry and Alexey will almost certainly face it when they are released from prison. Their chance of remission, like other drug addicts, is small - there is nothing encouraging in the world statistics here. But it exists. And you can't do without remorse.

- Remorse is the admission of your mistake. Without it, correction is impossible. After all, if there was no mistake, then there is no point in changing your life, which means that everything can happen again, - says Irina Krugley. - I can say for sure: almost everyone repents. I believe that they are sincere.

| Elena Krylova, "Belarusian Dumka" magazine. Photo by the author, from the BELTA archive and open sources.

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