“When my son was taken away, I couldn’t find a place.” The story of a Belarusian woman who was able to change her life and return a child from an orphanage

Alina grew up in an orphanage: she and her brother and sister were taken away from their drinking parents. She, like no one else, knows what it is to live without maternal love and care. At the age of 20, Alina became a mother herself. But pretty soon her child was taken to an orphanage. What did she have to go through to get her son back? Let's talk.

House without address

Over the phone, 22-year-old Alina impressed us as a modest and quiet person. And it really turned out that way. The door of the dorm room was opened for us by a slender, pretty, but tired young woman.

“Please come in,” Alina timidly invited us to visit.

In the middle of the room there is a stroller in which mother’s joy, little Artemka, is fast asleep.

- Now we can talk to you calmly. When Artem wakes up, there won’t be time for that: he’s so fast, you just have time to keep track of him,” explains Alina.

At the age of 6, she ended up in an orphanage with her older brother and younger sister. There is only one reason - the parents drank. Alina herself doesn’t remember well the day they were taken from the family, so she tells the story as she heard it from her parents. And she admits that she forgave them a long time ago.

- On my dad’s birthday, when my parents and guests were celebrating the holiday , our relative called the social service. My brother and I were at school, my sister was at home. The inspectors in our apartment sawALCOHOL and drunk adults. After the check, we were removed from the family,” says Alina.

She doesn’t want to talk about the orphanage. She only remembers how much she missed her family at that time:

- At first, my mother visited us, then she didn’t come for a very long time. My older brother supported me. And my sister was adopted by another family. Now she lives abroad, but she keeps in touch with us through social networks.

Alina is sincerely glad that her sister’s life worked out: she was surrounded by the warmth and care of her adoptive mother and father. Now he is studying and every time he writes that as soon as he receives his diploma and gets a job, he will immediately come to visit his relatives.

Our heroine at one time entered a construction technical school for a working profession that is quite in demand by today’s standards - painter-plasterer. But I didn’t want to study at all then, so I never received a diploma.

- She was stupid, she had only fun on her mind. A friend from the orphanage introduced me to a young man,” Alina says with embarrassment. - It seems like it was love at first sight. When I became pregnant, the candy-bouquet period immediately ended. More problems arose after Artem was born: they didn’t want to give me the child in the maternity hospital. First of all, because there was no housing: my boyfriend and I rented a room in an old house, not at all suitable for the life of a baby. There was not even water there, and all amenities were on the street.

Alina, your move!

The child’s father had to rent an apartment to pick up Alina and her son from the maternity hospital. After that, they moved from place to place more than once. The living conditions were getting worse each time.

In the very first months of little Artem’s life, they recognized him as being in a socially dangerous situation, and the police took the family under special control.

- Inspectors for juvenile affairs often visited us, checked the child’s living conditions, and suggested how to improve the situation. When Artem was six months old, he fell ill with pneumonia. We ended up in the hospital. Just before discharge, a coordination council was held, at which the state of affairs of my family was studied.

As a result, they told me: we are taking away my son until you improve your living conditions. When the child was transferred to the orphanage, I received the status of “obligated person”. This meant: I urgently needed to get a job in order to reimburse the state’s expenses for my child,” the girl says and admits: “As soon as my son and I were separated, I promised myself to change everything for his sake.

Although Alina resumed her relationship with her parents, she could not go to live with them - a private house on the outskirts of MINSK has long been in need of repair, and there are no necessary amenities for the child there. Artyom’s grandmother came to her senses and stopped drinking, and helps her daughter and grandson with everything.

- Father will never change. It’s hard for mom to be with him, but there’s nowhere to go. When I became pregnant, I told her: if you drink, you won’t see your grandson. And it worked. By the time Artyom was born, she pulled herself together, coded herself, and got a job as a cleaner. He spends a lot of time with his grandson,” the young mother says with a smile and immediately becomes sad: “When my son was taken away, I couldn’t find a place for myself, I didn’t sleep at night, I thought about how to quickly solve all the problems and bring him home.

The police and social services came to the rescue. Alina was told that a single mother without housing has the right to a room in a dorm. And she began to collect the necessary documents.

“I visited my son every day and promised him that I would pick him up soon.” “I couldn’t let him down,” says Alina. - Literally three months later I got a room in a hostel. During this time, I understood a lot, the most important thing is that I love my son very much and do not want him to grow up in an orphanage.

Concerned Belarusians helped her arrange her new home. The first to volunteer was one of the bloggers who helps mothers like Alina who find themselves in difficult living conditions. The man bought a wardrobe and a sofa. Volunteers from the charity brought several warm blankets and a bag of food.

- A complete stranger who responded on social networks helped with money for a used refrigerator and linoleum. Others handed over a desk and dishes. This is exactly how the room was furnished, says Alina. - The child was immediately returned to me.

They have been living in a hostel for over a year now. Alina rarely communicates with the child’s father. He does not seek to visit his son. He transfers 10-20 rubles a month towards alimony, because he gets by with odd jobs.

- He cheated on me. And when he realized that I would not return to him, he tried to blackmail me, saying that he would commit suicide. But I no longer want the life that I had when we were wandering around apartments. Now I need to think about my son. And the guardianship service advises me not to fall for Artyom’s father’s manipulations,” notes Alina and thanks the local juvenile affairs inspectors for putting her on the right path. - I was just very young, I had just turned 20 years old, and here is such a responsibility - a child. I didn’t really see life, I didn’t know anything, I didn’t understand. The child is still listed in the SOP, checks are coming, the local police officer is coming. But this is good - I seem to feel even more confident with such support. If something happens, I know: there is someone to stand up for my son and me.

Alina has already made plans for the future. The first thing you need to do is send your son to kindergarten, and then get a job - the police also promised to help with this. She really likes to cook, so she plans to enroll in a cooking course. He is not thinking about arranging his personal life yet. He admits that it will be difficult to trust someone again. Now the main task is to raise my son, raise him to be a real man.

HEAD of the Inspectorate for Juvenile Affairs of the Partizansky District Department of Internal Affairs Dmitry Yusko:

- After the child was removed, his mother was included in the plan for the protection of the rights and legitimate interests of minors, developed by the subjects of prevention, which is aimed at returning the minor to the family, providing for various stages of passage, including including psychological and medical assistance. Following the plan, Alina was able to return her son. But the attention from IDN employees did not end there. Inspectors visit the family weekly at their place of residence; preventive work continues with the mother , including in terms of explaining the legislation and checking the living conditions of the minor: the availability of food, sleeping space, clothing according to age and season. The mother’s social circle is being monitored, since there were previously prerequisites for her leading an immoral lifestyle.

The changes are dramatic, primarily in relation to the child. If previously she was less sociable, now there is very strong contact with her son. Alina understands thatTaking care of your son should be every second. Moreover, we monitor the consumption of child benefits: little Artem has the necessary food , toys, and clothes. That is, we can say that public funds are spent rationally.

Marina VALAKH,
Photo by the author,
newspaper "7 days".